Sunday, 23 December 2018

Mis-hearing! Crisis shopping! And beggars!

I found this letter in the Guardian yesterday, presumably in response to an article the previous weekend:

While skipping, 75 years ago, I sang “Manchester Guardian, Evening News. I sell a dish and one, two ...” I imagined the dish to be white enamel with a blue rim. Does anyone remember this jingle? “Edition one, two...” does make more sense though.”
Audrey Butler.

I was reminded of a friend of mine who went to teacher training college in the late 1960s. Asked to give an example of a children’s nursery rhyme, she sang,
 “Eileen Dunder. Eileen Dunder.
Hark! Don’t you? Hark! Don't you?
Pitter patter raindrops! Pitter patter raindrops!
I’m wet through! I’m wet through!”

She was surprised by the laughter. Right into her young-adult life, she had never learnt that “Eileen Dunder” was actually “I hear thunder!”

Oh dear, we have all misheard something at some time. My latest is an actress called Tamara Lawrence. In a radio review of a Tv series she is in I misheard her name as Tomorrow Lawrence and went into one of my rants about ridiculous names. Only today did I discover my mistake!

This morning my mission was to go to the local supermarket and buy a small turkey or a a turkey crown. I arrived there at 10.00am, official Sunday opening time. I suspect they opened earlier today as the place was already crowded. Trolleys laden with enough stuff for six weeks, they queued at the checkout. But there was no turkey! A store employee told me that there was a regional problem with supply. All Tescos and Sainsbury’s in the area had the same problem.

So I contacted my daughter, who was supposed to be picking me up anyway, and we made contingency plans. I picked up the few other items I needed, paid at the self check-out and waited to be collected.

We headed to a Sainsbury’s store not too far away. They had loads of turkeys ... at ridiculously high prices. So we went to the M&S store next door for comparison purposes and found a cheaper one.

Crisis averted!

I am amazed at the labels on turkeys. Huge great birds are labelled as being suitable for 5 or 6 people. However much meat do some people plane to eat on Christmas Day!? This is why people eat turkey for a good week after the big day!

Outside each of the bigger supermarkets we visited today was a beggar. Supermarket beggars in Greater Manchester. I have grown used to beggars in city centre Manchester. And now they have started to appear in the outer districts too. We even have a regular Big Issue seller outside the co-op in Delph village. The other day she greeted me with open arms and gave me a hug, wishing me a Merry Christmas. And I am pretty sure I have contributed nothing.

Maybe she is related to Soy-Muy-Pobre, our local supermarket beggar in Vigo, who also greets me with great alacrity!

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