Saturday 3 December 2022

Christmas decorations. The etiquette of presents.

 The across-the-road neighbours spent a good part of yesterday hanging baubles on their garden fence, and on the bushes in the garden. They have a sort of wicker archway, the kind of thing roses can be trained to grow up, which they have covered with Christmas lights. They do this every year, recently a little earlier each year. Our Number Three Granddaughter, the one who lives ‘down South’, told me a few years ago that they probably decorate their garden in this way because they know a little girl comes to sleep in the front bedroom of our house and likes to look out at them. Ah, the joy of being the centre of the universe!  She’s eight years old now and is perhaps slightly more aware of the reality of things.


Anyway, the across-the-road garden is now very sparkly. A little further up the road, two of the houses have small Christmas trees fixed onto the outside wall, above the front door, now sparklingly decorated. They must have worked together on this as the coloured lights match perfectly. 


Yesterday as we walked into Dobcross village centre we could not help noticing that one of the houses on the square, the one that long ago was the local bank and still has a notice to that effect, was rather garishly lit up. They seemed to be going for quantity of illumination rather than quality of illumination design. As a rule Dobcross is extremely lit up for Christmas, quite a fairyland on a gloomy evening, but so far it is quite restrained, apart from the Bank, of course. Maybe some people are being careful with their energy use after all.


We were walking into Dobcross on the late afternoon as I had been out and about and suggested that Phil might like to meet me somewhere on my homeward route, thus taking the opportunity to stretch his legs. I had been delivering some things to Granddaughter Number One, in her house in Mossley, just a flying visit as she is working from home. Then I caught the bus back to Uppermill to try to collect the items on Phil’s physiotherapy prescription which our Delph chemist seemed unable to provide. (The small independent chemist’s shop in Uppermill was able to provide the stuff at once so why was the one in our village that belongs to a chain of shops unable to do so?) I walked home from there, meeting Phil en route.


Among the items I was delivering to Granddaughter Number One was a warm coat I had acquired in the sales online, the parcel I was waiting for before going out yesterday. This was intended as a Christmas present but as cold weather and even snow is forecast in the near future I decided she should perhaps have her present early. This is the second early gift I have distributed this year: my daughter’s kettle died on her last week and so I bought a new one for as we were out and about. In fact, if you count the fancy, pointy, high-heeled shoes I bought for Granddaughter Number Two to wear to her formal ball at university, that’s three early Christmas gifts. 


The whole business of gift-giving can be a little fraught. How do you find the balance between giving a pleasant surprise and giving something you know recipient really wants or needs? Long years ago my brother used to send out a list of “suggestions” for gifts for him and his wife, complete with where they could be purchased, a reference number and price. This was before the advent of online shopping. It always rather annoyed me, especially as he could perfectly well afford all these items (ski gloves and the like) himself. 


Lucy Mangan begins her ‘Digested Week’ in he Guardian thus:


“The annual Christmas gift negotiations with my husband have begun.


“What do you want for Christmas?” he asks.

“Buy me these earrings, please,” I say, showing him a photo on my phone and sending him the link. “I like them and I will wear them.””


Yes, I know she writes this somewhat tongue-in-cheek but surely between spouses you shouldn’t need to “negotiate” presents. There are ways to find out what gifts someone wants without having to ask directly for a list. But, yes, I do want a list of suggestions for the smaller grandchildren - the presents will still be a surprise for them, and hopefully a pleasant one. 


That’s enough Christmas nonsense for the time being. I’ve got my Christmas robin earrings in my ears. All is well. I’m off for a walk in the wintery sunshine.


Life goes on. Stay safe and well, everyone. 

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