Marketing!

Over the last few weeks I have noticed that some of the buses around here have in large letters on the side the words LION OF PORCHES. What on earth could it be? Was it a film I had not heard of? No idea! It did not appear on advertising hoardings or on bus shelters. Just on the side of buses. And what did it mean. Is Porches a place? Does it have a lion. Is it a special kind of doorway, a "lion" of porches? 

And then, the other day when I was hugging the bit of pavement closest to the wall in the centre of town, trying to avoid the sudden rain shower as much as possible before I found an umbrella seller, I found the answer. On Urzáiz there is a boutique, a clothes shop of that name. 

                                    LION OF PORCHES 

                                            London. 

So it claims to be of or from London, does it? Well, I know I am not acquainted with all the clothes vendors of London but somehow Lion of Porches does not sound like a very English name for a shop of any kind, except possible porches! 

Very good marketing, however! 

Our local supermarket must train all its staff in marketing. If you pause for breath at almost any spot in the store, some assistant will sing out the news that there is a special offer on some product related to that aisle. For example: "You-can-get-a-big-bag-of-oranges-for juicing-for-just-three-euros!" This is announced in a flat tone, unlike any kind of normal intonation I have every heard. But all credit to the staff for pushing the goods. You don't get that level of commitment from the shelf-stackers in the UK. Occasionally a cashier will remind you that something is on a two for one offer but that's about the limit. Maybe the staff here are all shareholders and it is in their interest to promote the goods as much as possible. 

Whatever the motivation, I find these announcements vaguely irritating and it is purely the tone of voice that does it. Intonation is a funny thing. Spanish football commentators, and indeed other sports reporters, have a special over-excited intonation when you hear them on TV. However, it does not grate the way the supermarket announcement tone does. If anything, that flat announcement tone reminds me of the tone used in public safety announcements in many British bus and train stations. You know the kind of thing: "Floors may be slippery when wet!" "Be aware that pickpockets operate in this station". 

It's a tone of voice that you might use to a demented child when you want to be sure he is listening to you. It's condescending even when used to a five hear old. 

I, however, am not five years old. Please speak to me like an adult!