Someone who writes as Stella Grey, although that is not her actual name, in an article the other day was bemoaning the fact that men in their fifties prefer women half their age. She writes:
"There seems to be a gender imbalance, vis-a-vis the packaging thing. All the women I know are tolerant of middle age showing itself in a chap. We quite like a late flowering, in fact: the silvering, the smile lines, the coming of bodily sturdiness. We read these as signs that life has been lived and enjoyed. We read them as indicators of substance, of being substantial. In general, men don’t seem to grant us the same courtesy, at least not the men I meet online. They are highly focused on the packaging. It’s disheartening."
It was not clear how much statistical evidence there was for this but she maintained that this is the case. It could, of course, just be men you meet on the Internet, although one she met in the flesh, as it were, did comment that she should consider wearing brighter colours ( and losing some weight!). There really is, after all, nothing to say that women of 50 +, or indeed 65+, should only wear dull colours. And I, for one, don't!
However, I do agree with her when she points out that older men being attracted to women who could be their daughters is a little disturbing, to say the least.
But then, as regards the presentation of self as an older women, she needs to remember that "letting yourself go" (there's a delightful expression) applies to both genders. She should perhaps ask herself is she would find the older man with his silver hair and distinguished lines around his eyes so attractive if "the coming of bodily sturdiness" meant he also had a large beer belly! Just commenting!
I have no personal experience of Internet dating and, although I have a friend who found it a very positive way of restoring her self esteem after a divorce, on the whole I am pretty grateful for that. From what I read, however, more and more people make use of it as a way of meeting possible life partners. What happened to people you meet at work or, indeed, your friends setting up blind dates for you? And one young journalist wrote recently about her disgust at finding the boyfriend of one of her friends responding to her posting on a dating website. Challenged about it, he admitted that he and a number of his friends frequently looked for one night stands this way. New and interesting modern ways to be unfaithful!
Clearly what you see on your computer screen needs to be treated with some caution. This should be explained to an American YouTube vlogger (that was the term used in the news report where I found this - is there a difference between a blogger and a vlogger?) who has been watching EastEnders. It seems that he believed the soap opera was a reality show and could not understand why the producers had not called the police to arrest the culprit for the murder of Lucy Beale. Oh dear! Too much reality TV does weird things to your brain and you lose your hold on actual reality. He should get out more!
He is not, however, the only one with a tenuous grasp on reality. Russell Brand has been in the news a lot recently for his outspoken statements on all sorts of things regarding the state of the modern world. He has even produced (I hesitate to say written) books. Now I discover that Prospect Magazine has shortlisted him as being among the world's top thinkers, on the same shortlist as Henry Kissinger and Hilary Mantel.
I am simply amazed! Thought provoking he may be but ... a great thinker?
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Russell Brand is thought provoking, but I think, not in the way you mean. News of his demise would be welcome in many places.
ReplyDeleteAnthropology is your friend if you wish to learn why a younger women attracted to older men. Anthropology draws upon & builds upon knowledge from the social and biological sciences as well as the humanities and physical sciences. Most women will admit that they want a strong man who can stand his own ground and be confident.
It's tribal. Whether we are talking Asia, Europe or Africa this meant an egg fertilizer with the kind of genetics who could hunt to feed his family while protecting them from predators.
Now we live in a more settled societies, women might believe she no longer need a mate, hunter or protector. She probably expects her man to be mature & provide financial stability along with long-term security. That goes out the window as soon as modern society collapses. Witness ISIS or whatever they are calling themselves. Their behaviour shows how easily humans can descend to committing atrocities on a par with Stalin's mass exterminations during the 1930's & Hitler's during WWll.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holodomor
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soviet_famine_of_1932%E2%80%9333
Women's preferences for older men is related to their tendency to have accumulated more attractive resources. That seems a relatively obvious attraction and even makes evolutionary sense in terms of safety and protection.
Modern civilisation may not be quite as safe as we thought. Britain’s security services have been privately warning their staff that western societies are just 48 hours from anarchy. MI5’s maxim is that society is “four meals away from anarchy”. In other words, the security agency believes that Britain could be quickly reduced to large-scale disorder, including looting and rioting in the event of a catastrophe that stops the supply of food. -
See more at: http://disinfo.com/2011/08/britain-is-only-four-meals-away-from-anarchy/#sthash.9rghtf3X.dpuf
Vloggers use videos. Videoblogger becomes Vlogger.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the in o, both of you.
ReplyDelete