Etiquette!

Hadley Freeman, reporter for the Guardian, has a regular, rather tongue in cheek column where she answers peoples queries about fashion problems. The latest question was about what is a suitable outfit for a 14 year old to wear to a prom. Now, a prom is an American import so Hadley, who grew up on the USA and may even be an American citizen for all I know, is qualified to talk about them. 

Here is an extract from her reply: "There was a popular story last week about a mother in England spending £1,000 on her 11-year-old daughter's prom, fitting her out with a handbag, professional hair and makeup, a limo and a tiara. People, please. That is not a prom: that is just lunacy. Take off your tiara and listen to a tale from the prom coalface: I went to proms in the States when I was a kid. In fact, I was voted prom queen when I was 12 or 13, and let me tell you how much my parents and I spent on my prom triumph: $0. No, there aren't any missing digits there: $0. I wore an old denim dress my mother had bought me ages ago from Gap, I didn't wear any makeup and I certainly didn't go to the hairdresser. At most, I might have had a bath and brushed my hair. Instead of a limo (limo!) I walked to the prom with my girlfriends, and we spent the night dancing to the Dirty Dancing soundtrack. Then, when I was made prom queen, I got a small crown made out of aluminium foil and a plastic rose. Then I walked home." 

Wonderful! 

Years ago, in the early 1990s, when I worked at a sixth form college in Bolton, one of our bright young teachers, in charge of the student social committee, decided to organise a prom. This was strictly for the college leavers. So all attending would be 18 or pretty nearly so, about to leave college for employment or university. No doubt he pinched the idea from some of the American films but there was also his own experience of leavers' balls at the end of university. It was going to be a very grown up affair, no jeans or scruffy clothes. It worked fantastically. We were very impressed with the way our students scrubbed up so nicely. 

That was kind of the start of it all. I'm not suggesting that he introduced the idea to the country as a whole but he was in at the start. Over the years since then it has worked its way down to students leaving high school: 16 year olds. And now we hear of leavers' proms for primary schools. It's a bit like "graduation ceremonies" from nursery schools. All rather silly! I can remember being amazed at one girl whose father paid almost £300 to HIRE a dress for her prom, so that she wouldn't risk the embarrassment of someone turning up in the same dress as she was wearing. Crazy stuff! 

The last one of these events I went to was in 2008, just as I was retiring from teaching. Two girls from my tutor group, both beautifully dressed and with immaculate hairdo, manicure and make-up, spent the whole evening taking selfies with their mobile phone. Back then, of course, no-one knew they were called selfies. Also rather silly! 

 Thinking of my ex-students, I was reminded of at least one of them yesterday evening as I watched a report on Spanish television about Brits behaving badly in Magaluf. I am having serious thoughts about "unfriending" the young lady in question as her recent Facebook posts have all been videos of herself and friends doing embarrassing things in ... yes, you've guessed ... Magaluf. One was all about them being thrown out of their hotel. Now, I've been to Magaluf and I think you have to be pretty bad to be thrown out of your hotel there. And this was a girl who studied languages at university. Okay, this is not a total guarantee of quality but it usually indicates a certain degree of intelligence!!!! 

Enough said!