A lot of soppy stuff.

Today’s Google symbol will play you a soppy song and show you a cute cartoon if you are silly enough to click on it. I know this because I was just daft enough to do so.

Then I went on Facebook and found that all my younger friends are sending each other messages saying things like “Happy fourth Valentine’s day together”, “Happy second Valentine’s day together” and so on. Even my older friends are wishing the world and his brother Happy Valentine’s Day.

Now, I seem to remember that the idea was that you sent, and hopefully received, anonymous valentines and then had to work out who had sent them, hoping that you hadn’t got yours from that ugly person who was unpopular with the rest of the class and always sat at the back on his own. As the number of cards you received was a measure of your social success, some people were known to send valentines to themselves, or at least they were suspected of it.

When Bathseba Everdene in Thomas Hardy’s Far from the Madding Crowd, sent a valentine to William Boldwood it was intended as a bit of a joke, mostly because he was one of the few men who never even gave her a first, let alone a second, admiring glance. And, of course, this being a Hardy novel, it led to all kinds of bad things happening all round.

So, anyway, I decided to do a little research into the whole soppy business. It turns out to be partly another of those pagan festivities that was subsumed into the Christian calendar and given a new name.

It seems that in ancient Rome, February 14th was a holiday to honour Juno. Juno was the Queen of the Roman Gods and Goddesses. The Romans also knew her as the Goddess of women and marriage. The following day, February 15th, began the Feast of Lupercalia.

The lives of young boys and girls were strictly separate. However, one of the customs of the young people was this: on the eve of the festival of Lupercalia the names of Roman girls were written on slips of paper and placed into jars. Each young man would draw a girl's name from the jar and would then be partners for the duration of the festival with the girl whom he chose. Sometimes the pairing of the children lasted an entire year, and often, they would fall in love and would later marry

Then along came the emperor Claudius II who was having some difficulty recruiting soldiers to go off and be killed in his rather bloody campaigns. As he blamed this difficulty on men’s reluctance to leave their wives and sweethearts, he cancelled all marriages and engagements in Rome. However, he didn’t know about Valentine.

Valentine, later known as Saint Valentine, was a Christian priest who secretly married couples despite the official ban. As a result he was dragged off and condemned to death. His martyrdom took place on the 14th of February, round about 270 ad. He was supposed to have sent a note to a young girl who had befriended him while he was imprisoned, signing it “from your Valentine”. There you go.

So when Pope Gelasius made him a saint in 496 ad and set aside February 14th to be Saint Valentine’s Day, it was perfect opportunity for the church to take ownership of the feast of Lupercalia and stop it being a pagan celebration. Isn’t that convenient?

And all sorts of traditions sprang up from that:-

In Wales wooden love spoons were carved and given as gifts on February 14th. Hearts, keys and keyholes were favourite decorations on the spoons. The decoration meant, "You unlock my heart!"

In the Middle Ages, young men and women drew names from a bowl to see who their valentines would be. They would wear these names on their sleeves for one week. To wear your heart on your sleeve now means that it is easy for other people to know how you are feeling.

In some countries, a young woman may receive a gift of clothing from a young man. If she keeps the gift, it means she will marry him.

Some people used to believe that if a woman saw a robin flying overhead on Valentine's Day, it meant she would marry a sailor. If she saw a sparrow, she would marry a poor man and be very happy. If she saw a goldfinch, she would marry a millionaire. I wonder if global warming and the disappearance of some species has made a difference.

It all got mixed up with daft things that were supposed to tell you what sort of man you would marry and how many children you would have. Here are a few:-

• Think of five or six names of boys or girls you might marry and as you twist the stem of an apple, recite the names until the stem comes off. You will marry the person whose name you were saying when the stem fell off.

• Pick a dandelion that has gone to seed. Take a deep breath and blow the seeds into the wind. Count the seeds that remain on the stem. That is the number of children you will have.

• If you cut an apple in half and count how many seeds are inside, you will also know how many children you will have.

Now when I was a child and we had a dessert containing plums or some other fruit with stones in, we would set the stones on the side of our plate and then count them off with the rhyme, “Tinker, tailor, soldier, sailor, rich man, poor man, beggar man, thief” to see what kind of person we might marry. Presumably this is part of the same superstitious nonsense.

I found a website which purported to explain the Valentine’s Day traditions of different countries. Most of them involve giving red roses or chocolates, couples swopping gifts and the like. But a number of countries, including Scotland might be surprised to learn what they are supposed to do:-

• Valentines Day in France

In France a custom of drawing for would occur, this was were young unmarried people as well as older unmarried people would go into houses facing each other and start calling out across from one window to another, pairing of with the one they have chosen. If the young man didn't fancy his valentine he would desert her and as a result afterwards a bonfire would be lit where the young ladies would burn images of the young man and would yell out abuse as she burnt the image of the young man.

This eventually fell into dishonor because it left too much room for nastiness, ridicule or even malice. For example an unsavory type of man might be paired with a flirtatious young lady, just for fun.

As a result of these customs the French government was forced into handing down a decree that there would be no more pairing or calling of Valentines.

Also in France elegant greeting cards called cartes d'amities that contained tender messages were given not totally as a Valentine but mainly as a result of fashion going on in England.

• Valentines Day in Italy

In Italy Valentine's Day is celebrated as a Spring Festival and is held in the open air. The young would gather in leafy glades or ornamental gardens, where they would listen to music and hear poetry read, and then they would stroll off with their valentine together into the gardens.
This custom over the years has ceased and it has not been celebrated for centuries.

In the Italian city of Turin it was customary for an engaged couple to announce their engagement on this day. For a while before the day shops would be decorated and filled with all sorts of bon-bons.

• Valentines Day in Scotland

In Scotland Valentine’s Day is celebrated by having a festival. At the festival there is an equal amount of young unmarried (single) men and young unmarried (single) ladies who get together, each of them writes on a piece of paper their name or a made up name, this is then rolled up. The names are placed in two hats one for the men one for the ladies they then have to draw a piece of paper out of the hat. Both may end up with two valentines but the young man is suppose to stick with the valentine who has chosen him.

This having been done the company has been split up into so many couples, gifts are given to the young ladies and the young ladies would wear the name of their valentine over their heart or on their sleeve. There might also be a dance and at the end of the festival there might even be a lot of marriages or romances.

There is another valentine where the first young man or woman that by chance walks by you in the street or elsewhere will be your valentine.

In Scotland Valentine's Day gifts were given by both parties in the form of a love-token or a true-love-knot.

• Valentines Day in Denmark

The Danish valentine day’s card known as a lover's card came in the form of a transparency. When held up to the light showed a picture of a lover handing his love a gift.

In Denmark, people swap poems and candy snowdrops. As well as some people send love notes not serious love notes but, laughable notes which are called gaekkebrev which are also referred to as joking letters. On the gaekkebrev, the sender signs his or her name in dots. If the receiver guesses the correct name then the sender will get a candy egg at Easter time.

Well, I hope all those people are maintaining the traditions properly, that’s all I can say.

The card industry side of it is apparently down to an American woman called Esther Howland. From around 1800 there were companies who would sell verses for people to put into their own hand made valentines but in 1847 young Esther decided that she really liked the paper and lace valentine she received from an English chap and had a bright idea. Her father ran a book and stationery store and so she made use of the facilities to start a new line. And mass produced Valentines were the result.

So there it is. Esther is only partly to blame but she and a lot of others have made a lot of money out of sentimentality. And that’s why there are strawberries (IN FEBRUARY!!!!!) in heart shaped boxes in Tesco at the moment. And it’s also why the pub/restaurant next door to our house is offering a romantic Valentine’s Day special meal at an outrageous price.

I’m going to have to burst into a great cry of HUMBUG!!! any time now but maybe I’d better give my Phil a Valentine’s Day hug first.