Monday 19 November 2018

And so Christmas begins!

As we waited for the bus just outside Oldham town centre yesterday afternoon/evening (that weird time at this time of the year when it’s already dark but it’s not really evening proper) we started to hear the sound of fireworks being set off. Well, that or else someone was shelling the town centre. You couldn’t see fireworks, or flashes from explosions for that matter, but I think it’s because we were at an odd angle to the centre.

Almost certainly fireworks but what was the occasion?

And then I remembered. They were switching on the Christmas lights in the centre of the town.

If they are using the same ones as last year, which would be a good economy measure, they will spell out in bright lights across the high street the words “Oldham Lights”. Not “Merry Christmas” or the more inter-faith “Happy Holiday” but “Oldham Lights”. Truly, the creative work that must have gone into that must have been quite staggering!

Personally I think mid-November is still a bit early to switch on Christmas  lights but Manchester city centre did so a couple of weeks ago. Of course, they have a whole lot of Christmas Market stalls set up and they will want to make the most of them, giving people plenty of time to appreciate the tat on sale, sometimes identical from one stall to another. (Okay, I exaggerate. There is some nice stuff, some artisan-work jewellery and so on. But really, how many woven straw or wicker reindeer can one household need?!?) So they need to get Christmas fun and games underway as soon as possible.

Get Hallowe’en over and done with and sashay nicely into Christmas.

Remembrance Sunday seems to get a little lost in there, however.

Our village centre is having a big switch-on party on December 1st. Fireworks, the local brass band and almost certainly food on sale. For there has to be food on sale. It wouldn’t be Christmas without feeding your face.

This is what goes on mostly around the Christmas markets in central Manchester: bratwurst, baked potatoes, possibly roasted chestnuts, hot dogs, glühwein, mulled wine, and lots of semi-drunk people in wooly hats with pompons!

Some people are sad this year because they have been unable to set up the Christmas Markets in Albert Square in front of Manchester town hall, because of work going on there. This also means that the inflatable Santa who is usually attached to the front of the venerable old building cannot be there either. No loss, in my opinion, but many people disagree with me.

And the Christmas adverts are all being released. I hear that there will be no Coca-cola lorry! Too sugary apparently  and bad for our health! I am fairly sure I read something recently about an argument between Sainsbury’s and Waitrose because the latter accused the former of copying their idea - something about children in a Nativity Play, I think. Surely there is a limited number of ideas that lend themselves to Christmas exploitation / advertising.

John Lewis has, as always, produced a spectacular and called it a Christmas advertisement. It involves Elton John singing “Your song” and takes us back through time, and good old Elton singing at various ages and stages, until we reach a dramatisation of a supposed Christmas in Elton’s childhood when he was given a piano.

Well, that will up the stakes in the how-big-and-expensive-a-present-do you-give-your-five-year-old? competition!

On the other side of Atlantic there is a man called John Lewis who works in a university somewhere or other in the USA. Since 2007 he has had a twitter account with the handle (is that the correct terminology?) @johnlewis, logically enough. He has to stress that he is not the department store of that name (they are @jlandpcustserv) because he receives so much twitter communication about store-related stuff, lately concerning their Christmas advert. According to this articleTwitter has paid for a spoof advertisement, included in the article, featuring the REAL John Lewis.

The Christmas madness has begun!

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