Tuesday 20 September 2016

Some thoughts about loneliness.

It's a funny sort of world we live in these days. I read the other day about a man who "walks" people for a living. Just as some people walk dogs and get paid for it, so he walks people. It's not the same as doing a guided walk around a place. I know someone who does that around here but he isn't earning his living that way; I think people make donations to the Peace Movement in return for his informative walks around the area.

The other chap I read about accompanies people who fancy a walk but maybe feel odd walking on their own, or who might want to be walked home through an area that they regard as bit unsafe. So there is an element of bodyguard work about it. However, most of his work is going for walks with people who just want someone to talk to as they ramble along, often walking the same route on a number of occasions. And he is making enough money to consider "people walking" as a profession.

Personally I have no qualms about going for a walk on my own. It's a good way to get my thoughts in order while having a little exercise as well. But that's just me. Anyway, the man I read about is based in Los Angeles and I am afraid I dismissed the whole thing as one of those American oddities you read about from time to time. And then, this morning in fact, I came across an article about how people can make money out of all sorts of aspects of loneliness. You can pay for cuddles, for a chat, for someone to go shopping with you. Here's a link to the article.

Apparently loneliness is one of the contributing factors to the increase in mental illness in our society. And they are not talking just about lonely old people here. They mean younger people as well. Lots of people are too busy to make friends. So there is a niche market there to be exploited. What a sad indictment of our society.

Coincidentally, one of my son's friends put a post on Facebook today, celebrating the fact that twenty years ago today he met a group of friends, including my son, at university. That particular group of friends went off to London together after graduating, touting their cvs around various agencies in search of employment. Many of them still live and work within shouting distance, or at least a tube ride, of each other. And those who have moved away return for weddings and birthdays and celebrations of babies being born and so on.

So, is that not happening any longer? Was there a cut-off point when it stopped being the norm to get to know a group of people, at university or in the work place, and remain friends with them for pretty well the rest of your life?

Maybe the increasing need for university students to maintain a very time-consuming, supposedly part-time, job was a factor. Maybe it was the move away from leaving home to study in a distant place, where you had to get to know new people, to staying at home and studying in your local
university. Perhaps that led to more students simply going home after lectures and classes and not
actually bonding with their fellow students, while at the same time losing touch with many of their friends from school and sixth form.

And did those who went straight into work simply have to work such long hours that they had no time to create workplace friendships?

Or is everyone so busy with their virtual friendships that they have forgotten how to form actual face to face friendships? It's no good having thousands of followers on Twitter and Instagram if you can't meet any of them for a coffee and a good chinwag when you are feeling down.

Of course, I am just speculating but that doesn't stop me repeating my belief that it's a funny old world!




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